...

I keep finding it impossible to not feel guilty about the things I've put him through. How do I even begin to forgive myself? How do I even begin to explain to him how sorry I am?
He says he's happy. I believe him, but I don't know how to......I don't know how to believe it deep down. I feel awful for coming into his life and taking him away from a community he had; while not having fully taken him away from it, he is excused from a part of it now on purpose because of me. Because of me.
I got in the way of him doing something he was excited for, I think at least, and I'm probably too in my head about it, but how else am I supposed to be about it? He says he's happy it was me, and not someone else. But how do I know for sure? How do I know if he sees me as a burden, or as something in the way? How do I know?